I’m Broken
That’s what my blog was saying to me for MONTHS, and as a good human being I always blame others instead of myself.
“ahh it’s Docker, it’s the M1, it’s the C thingies installed, the branch it’s broken, it’s this or that”
“yo” that’s me in Spanish
Well wasn’t that, was me, trying to fix something that wasn’t broken, try to add things unnecessary to something that was already working, here you can realize that I’m a designer and not a developer, first rule of development “don’t fix something that isn’t broken”, well
The Real life
ahh yes I also broke myself in real life, this year has been a hell or a ride, I think did more things in just one year than the last two or three, let me elaborate on this.
For doing things easily we are gonna take this ride per month, with a little resume.
December
Two days before the year ended I managed to settle my life goals, after two years of covid, managed to get a remote job, so I can start travel, my goal of travel wasn’t just for the sake of traveling, I wanted to go and meet a friend, so I grab my backpack, a really bad selection of items, I’m looking at you camera sitting in the desk, and took a flight of 35 hours to… Sri Lanka (at this point I have to add that I don’t know how to swim, don’t like beaches, and definitely don’t like warm weather)
January
Things were going smoothly sweaty, getting used to the humidity, work in a different timezone, hanging out with my “friend” (at this point you should have guessed) her friends and the new ppl, started to go to the ocean, and spend time in the beach, leave your comfort zone ppl says, I was totally in my uncomfort zone, did I say I was eating mostly fruits, things I never ate, also, in Sri Lanka almost everything is made with coconut, something I always hated till now.
February
At this point I was a fruit devouring animal, all my meals were based on coconut and even managed to get a coconut from the palm, opened it and used it for meals completely. Also was traveling all Sri Lanka with my not s just friend anymore and more girlfriend, at this point everything seems going amazing, traveling a paradisiacal Island, eating healthy, doing new stuff, working remotely, life it’s good…
Wait its a joke that Russia Bombed Ukraine right? it’s 2022 this kind of things not happen right? right?
“but dude, not big deal, you are from Chile right?”
friends from Ukraine, and my GF it’s Ukrainian…
Also got fired, but didn’t care, at that point means that I could shift my focus to BF mode and learn new things(SwiftUI & LUA)
And by mistake I throw my iPad to my Macbook and broke my screen.
March
Here things start to get bad and dizzy, the next months where just harder and harder, 6 days into March and we crashed our tuk tuk, nothing terrible happened to us, the tuk tuk was wasted, this wasn’t the first accident, the first day I drive it, flipped it, that moment was just scary but really nothing happened, this time we got some injuries, nothing serious, gotta admit that I got the “worse” part, and im glad, don’t mind having a few scars. A few days later her computer broke, so I handed her mine and kept studying from the iPad.
During March I kinda loss interest in “work”, or at least working for someone else. And started to spend my “working hours” into learning SwiftUI and at that point determined to become a iOS developer and at some point make my own game, since January was spending a little of time in the playdate SDK.
At the end of the month we managed to get my screen replaced, and checked my GF computer, but we didn’t fix hers.
April
April wasn’t better at all, the war didn’t look like was going to stop, since Chile has a lot of shit against the states saw a lot of ppl kinda supporting Russia, kinda, the stress in the relationship keep growing, after the accident we didn’t receive any kind of support more than by ourselves, and my BF role kinda use most of my time, or at least its how it felt, the accident, the war, the broken computer, my insecurities, and two years of being in isolation didn’t help, not blaming anyone but at the moment there was a lot of things I could have done better. We extend our Visas so we can stay more time in Sri Lanka, which at this point was having some political and social situation.
During April I received a Job offer, the latino spirit was killing me after being without an income for couple of months, and in some weird way thought that, maybe having a job will make things better, even tho I didn’t have my computer and “timezones”, well the project it’s cool, the team it’s cool, anyways, it was a better idea than I thought.
Finished the 100 days of SwiftUI, and started reading about Combine.
May
After our wounds started to heal and our mood was kinda better, we decided to move to Turkey, since was a closer country to Ukraine and still not in the Schengen area and things started to getting worse and worse in Sri Lanka so was a no brainer to move, maybe we just need some fresh air of a new city. At the beginning things were better but some things still were off. She moved back home, and I went to France to visit my cousin.
During this time she was working on my computer while I manage to deliver my tasks working from the iPad (most of the time).
June
The first days of June were hard, the relationship ended (not gonna explain here, but as wrote before I could have done better a lot of things).
Went to Paris, stayed in Chamonix, saw my friends (they travelled to Chamonix), ate a lot of pizza.
July
Nothing happened, just sorrow and lone lines, guilty and thinking, war didn’t stop, and was worrying without being able to do much. The award for the worst month of 2022 goes to July, FY July.
Besides that since I was in the Schengen Area had to think for a place to go, outside the Schengen and try to “re plan” my life, at this point was lonely and without a plan so…
August
My plan was at some point going to Austria to see the KrampusRummel, so I needed to leave the Schengen and make the dates fit to be able to be back at the end of November, kinda make a plan and decided to go to Bulgaria for a few months, specifically to Bansko, the land of the Digital nomads.
Things seems to be better, till I had an accident and cut my finger, lots of blood, and kinda cut all my “let’s meet ppl mood and enjoy the life for a few weeks”, besides was right hand so also kinda crippled me a little.
September
Was mostly staying in Bansko and moving to Sofia a couple of times to buy things or go to another places, like Plovdiv, love Plovdiv. Made a few new good friends.
October
Finger was kinda better, still numb, but already the wound was closed. Went to Italy to see a friend, had great times, moved to Romania, Timisoara.
November
Moved to Salzburg, Austria enjoyed the Christmas markets and the Krampus, at this point gotta say that my two goals of the year were accomplished. Something good.
December
Moved to Porto, Portugal, to visit a very good friend and spend xmas and new years eve. During all this months kept learning Lua and SwiftUI. Damn food in Portugal it’s unbelievable tasty.
Now
It’s Dec 22th I’m writing this from my friend’s couch, planning my next year, were I’ll travel, working, gotta say that the best of the month was February, or at least the first quarter of the month, really enjoyed traveling Sri Lanka, and mostly the company, really wish thing would end differently, but that’s life.
My elbow still looks like shit from the tuk tuk crash, and my finger still feels numb, its really hard to grab things from small pockets and the part that isn’t numb feels funny most of the times.
Gotta say that at some point felt as broken and my blog, and kept blaming others, and again, as with my blog, the blame was on me.